and Words
When I was a young boy
Said put away those young boy ways
Now that I’m gettin’ older, so much older
I long for those young boy days
With a girl like you
With a girl like you
Lord knows there are things we can do, baby
Just me and you
Come on and make it, uh
Lyric excerpts from Musixmatch.
My older sister drove a Ford Mustang during the 1980’s. It had a four-cylinder, turbo-charged engine. She had over four years on me, so I spent many years riding in that car before getting my own wheels. Though I distinctly remember riding in the back of that car, as in the hatchback section, along with too many of our friends. We packed ourselves like sardines, three across that hatchback section. Once the car got sufficient speed, the pressure from the air flow pushed the hatchback down and locked us in until we reached our destination.
On one particularly day, this song comes on over the radio, John Cougar’s ‘Hurts So Good’. Being in a particularly happy mood, we collective broke out in song. Though some of us remained packed like sardines in a tin can, we continued singing until the end of that song. I don’t believe that any of us reflected on the words of the song that bellowed from our lips. We just noisily acquiesced and joined in, many of us offkey I’m sure.
Once I watched the video for the song, I had this raised eyebrow moment and realized that this tune isn’t quite simply a happy reminiscence of our youthful days. While the words certainly implied a certain wickedness and, dare I say, even raunchiness, it was all implied. The two women dancing with him on the counter clinched it for me, all donned with black leather, garters, fishnet stockings, and chains.
Still, we were young, and I didn’t really care.
Apart from that moment in the car, this song reminds me of John Cougar Mellencamp, who hails from Bloomington, Indiana, or at least that’s what MTV kept telling us. For better or worse, when I think of Bloomington, I do not think of John Cougar Mellencamp, nor the infamous pink house, nor the implied debauchery of ‘Hurts So Good’. Instead, my mind runs to a movie set in Bloomington; that movie is Breaking Away.
The movie takes place in Bloomington, or more specifically in the town of Indiana University. It follows the interactions between a collection of friends after their high school graduation, who do not aspire to attend college, and their interactions with the students in the university. Subtly, you also watch them navigate life with members of their own town, themselves lifers.
What surprised me the most about this film is that it was released in 1979, while I still learned English. I’m sure that the nuances from most of the dialog eluded me. Any cultural references fell flat for a boy of eleven who was still learning the language and culture. A television show by the same name followed the movie (and characters), and I distinctly remember watching it, so I must’ve watched the movie close to its release.
The term often used to refer to them is “cutters”, as many local residents cut stone at the quarry. Sure, they sleepwalked through life a bit, they simply got through school and decided to spend time in a prolonged vacation. Naturally, the film sets you up to identify with the “cutters” and villainize the college students from Indiana University. Though life is never quite that simple.
As I reflect on watching the movie (and the subsequent television show), it occurred to me that this all took place by 1981. This all occurred right around the start of high school. To be completely honest, I had not yet thought about what I’d do after high school. In fact, no one in my family had graduated college, and basically no close friends of the family either. Friends of the family resembled my mom, blue-collar Chinese and hard working. I could certainly see references of college-educated people in movies and television. However, they were effectively works of fiction, like stormtroopers shooting beams of light at Han Solo.
As a child, I personally knew no single Chinese person who had graduated college and worked professionally outside of the restaurant industry. While high school for me started disastrously, I eventually corrected that ship. By the time I entered my junior year, I scored well in most classes but exceptionally in mathematics and computer programming. The summer preceding my senior year cemented it for me; barring some unexpected change in trajectory, I would be studying engineering.
I won’t tell you that I sought to escape my modest roots. I didn’t then and still don’t today. Computer programming was new and exciting in the 1980’s; mathematics was deeply interesting and came easily. I simply wanted to do what I loved, and the fact this deviated considerably from my blue-collar Chinese community was merely happenstance.
As I embarked on higher education, I continued to work every weekend. Honestly, while I was familiar with the University of Miami from the preceding summer, it cost more money than we could comfortably spend. I took five years to graduate as I picked up a second major in computer science. For those years, I first bused tables and later waited on tables. Initially, I worked close to my home in Fort Lauderdale; eventually, I waited on tables a few minutes from “The U”.
I reflect on Breaking Away, that film from my childhood. While I realize that I identified and cheered for the “cutters”, it was a self-fulfilling prophecy while I continued to work and belong to that community. My life slowly transitioned to that of portrayed by those college students. For years, I straddled those two sides of the conflict.
As I approached graduation, I felt the growing resentment from my Chinese peeps. Many continued to take the occasional college course to work towards an eventual degree for which they held no passion. Higher education became the weapon with which parents bludgeoned our high school graduates. They dutifully took classes in community colleges to appease insisting Chinese parents. However, I completed my education and stopped waiting on tables. How dare I? They looked upon me with contempt; I no longer belonged.
On the flip side, as I waited on tables close to campus, I occasionally waited on classmates. Honestly, waiting on their tables didn’t distress me at all; I spent all day talking to people from all walks of life, even the occasional celebrity. Talking to my classmates while I wore a bow tie and apron wasn’t especially different nor awkward for me. However, it weirded out some of them. One friend insisted on walking back to drop cash on the table for my tip because handing it to me felt weird. Still others felt slighted that ‘the waiter from New Chinatown’ was consistently a better programmer. In many ways, I didn’t belong here either.
By sheer happenstance, I did not need to navigate that awkwardness past college graduation. A job offer from Microsoft sent me clear across the country from Miami to Seattle. Did I want to stay in Florida among friends and family? Absolutely. However, that job offer from this leading tech company was simply an opportunity I could not pass up.
I’ve now lived far longer here in Washington than anywhere else. Sure, I occasionally wonder what life would’ve been like had I stayed. However, I choose not to conduct my life obsessing about the possibilities.