and Words
With your heartbreak open
So much you can’t hide
Put on a little makeup, makeup
Make sure they get your good side, good side
If the words unspoken
Get stuck in your throat
Send a treasure token, token
Write it on a pound note, pound note
Lyric excerpts from Musixmatch.
I’ve worked in technology for my entire career. The technology industry often tolerates their employees dressing casually; I exploited that and often wore jeans, shorts, t-shirts, or even occasionally tank tops. My friends from work mostly dressed the same. An occasional peep may wear khakis and polo shirt to the office. Raymond, who attended prep school, grew accustomed to wearing slacks, buttoned shirt, and tie; he continued this tradition at work.
As my (then) girlfriend and I settled into our lives, she received an invitation to a wedding from a friend; it would take place in Youngstown, OH. She asked if I would consider attending the wedding with her, and I happily accepted. However, the discussion did not turn to the logistics of arranging our time off or travel plans. She marveled that I had never seen me really dressed up. Therefore, she naturally asked if I had proper attire; I confirmed that I owned a suit. She followed that question by asking about the shoes.
I confirmed that I owned a pair of dress shoes. “When did you get that pair of shoes?” This marked the point where alarm bells started to sound in my head. “Uhm, when I started interviewing about thirteen years ago… Why?”
This response horrified her. Subsequently, the mental image that I may dare to wear a pair of shoes that is over thirteen years old to a wedding as her date caused her extreme distress. She immediately asserted that I simply must buy a new pair of shoes. To be completely honest, I’m not entirely sure precisely what she envisioned when I mentioned those shoes.
Allow me to state for the record that I’m computer geek; I drive most decisions by practical and functional basis. I won’t pretend to know or even understand what is trendy or fashionable. While I’ve never gotten any indication that these shoes violated some cardinal rule of fashion, it’s plausible that they have since crossed this threshold, like disco, and in their current form, were an obvious embarrassment. I’m not ruling out this possibility.
Men’s fashion tends to age more gracefully than women’s; this fact holds especially when we look at more formal wear. Men can wear a decades-old suit, and no one would be the wiser. Men don’t need to flip their wardrobe simply because an item has gone out of style. I won’t dare speculate on why that’s the case, but I simply observe that’s the case.
However, the only metric by which she concluded their level of inappropriateness was their age. In my attempts to moderate her level of anxiety, I described what the shoes looked like. Though the “standard laced black dress shoes” description did nothing to alleviate her distress; she still wanted a new pair of shoes. I volunteered to bring the shoes so that she may examine them and evaluate them. This was not enough; she insisted that I get a new pair of shoes.
The classic 80’s song, ‘Goody Two Shoes’ from Adam Ant reminded me of precisely this moment. The upbeat, almost cartoonish, music and lyrics linger in your head as you can’t help but to sing along. The song borrowed for the expression goody two shoes, who is excessively virtuous. Though in my particular case, it reminded me of my predicament with this particular pair of shoes.
And additionally, it highlighted the impending decision laid upon me and the source of that mildly derogatory label. Should I dutifully buy a new pair of dress shoes that I’ll rarely ever wear in order to minimize my girlfriend’s distress? Or should I anchor and refuse to get a new pair of shoes? Will I choose ‘goody two shoes’ or rebellion?
I chose the latter.
Allow me to elaborate on my decision. I care about my girlfriend’s state of mind and disposition; I do not want to needlessly distress her. However, when she vetoed my existing pair of shoes without giving me the opportunity to show them to her, I resisted. My logical engineering sensibilities forced me to anchor. The entire discussion about the infamous dress shoes ended with my response, which went something like, “I have no reason to believe that there’s anything wrong with these shoes, they’ll the ones that I’ll bring to the wedding.”
Upon the realization that I meant it, her position softened where she asked to examine those shoes… Naturally. However, I simply smiled and responded with, “No, that ship has sailed!” Those shoes would, in fact, adorn my feet, not hers. Surely, I should be able to decide what I’d wear on my feet, right? I don’t want to give the impression that this discussion was mean-spirited; it wasn’t. It became a bit of a running joke.
We set that course; we’d be going to her friend’s wedding. The shoes will be a surprise for the trip. They’ll be a surprise for her, having not seen them and for me, not knowing if she’d approve. Subsequently, we continued our travel plans, like flights and hotels. We’ll be meeting with her friend and the airport and staying at the same hotel, so she’ll be riding with us.
The big day arrives, and we make our trip. We wait in the airport until her friend arrives; I meet this friend for the first time. She’s charming and funny; I like her. We all climb into the car and make our way to Youngstown. Upon getting settled into our room, the time finally arrived for the big reveal. I show her my pair of (now) infamous shoes.
“Oh, yes… They’re totally fine.” That’s what I figured. After all that hoopla, it was a bit anticlimactic. Though honestly, I’m relieved that it didn’t become the source of continued strife.
The remainder of the trip went off mostly without a hitch. We had one minor wardrobe mishap which I fixed with a little needle and thread. Otherwise, we spent the weekend with friends, all new for me, celebrating the merging of two lives, all while wearing that mysterious pair of shoes. Upon heading back to the airport, the three of us visited the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
We enjoyed a delightful trip, and I gained this colorful story about a pair of shoes.