and Words
When I first saw you, I saw love
And the first time you touched me, I felt love
And after all this time, You’re still the one I love
Mmm, yeah
Looks like we made it
Look how far we’ve come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we’d get there someday
Lyric excerpts from Musixmatch.
In an otherwise ordinary summer weekend in the late 1990’s, I fly into St. Louis. Today, I’ll be meeting my sister and her then fiancé, in this unfamiliar city. My flight runs late, and I’ll be keeping them waiting. Well, the two of them and a mess of strangers. You see, they all need to wait for me to arrive before we can all take the long car ride to Rolla, Missouri.
A year before, my sister and now brother-in-law attended a family event with his extended family. He and his extended family, a collection of cousins from his father’s side, collectively decided to meet for a cousin reunion each year. Each year they’d pick a different location, and everyone would flock to that city. What they did was really of little consequence, it was simply an opportunity for family to gather.
However, there’s a little wrinkle to this reunion. This scenario is the brainchild of my now brother-in-law. Having spent a number of holidays with my sister and him, we found that we got along fabulously well. He reasons that I would get along with his cousins as well, so he invites me to this cousin reunion. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve participated in a number of unconventional scenarios; however, I’m normally the source of those wacky ideas.
Someone in the family does have a place in St. Louis, but today, it is merely a place for us to meet before we take the long (over an hour) drive to Rolla, where we’ll be spending the bulk of our time. I’m picked up at the airport and meet there. The stop is barely long enough for me to meet everyone and subsequently pack up the cars again and get on the road. On that ride I got an opportunity to get to know a handful of those dozen faces a little better.
Upon reaching our destination, our first stop is a phenomenal barbecue restaurant where we feast. This is my first opportunity to talk to all of my new cousins. During that meal, I first struggled to keep names to the faces. However, my attention was divided between learning about all these new wonderful people, and that mind-blowing barbecue that never seemed to end. Off to the side of that restaurant was a mechanical bull. Since watching Urban Cowboy, I’ve been fascinated with the idea of riding a mechanical bull. However, that would not happen today.
After the barbecue orgy, we went back to the home of a newly met uncle and two cousins. The setting was little more than a glorified slumber party, but it wasn’t about the sleeping arrangements. I finally got a chance to relax and unpack. Though more importantly, meet my new family. We ranged from our early teens into our thirties. We were scattered across the country though many live in New York. Next, I learned about how we all related to the other, which ones were immediate siblings. Whose parent was related to this particular family tree. They were all wonderful and deeply interesting. Though they had just met me, they already treated me like family.
The following day we went paintballing. I didn’t pack a sweatshirt, but a cousin loaned me one. One cousin is an avid paintballer and has owns his equipment. Most of the rest of us are relative noobs to this activity. We did a number of rounds of this, no pun intended. I honestly don’t remember how well I did, though I certainly was not victorious. It was all in an enclosed space, much like a warehouse with structures erected for cover. There was a room in the side that served as a haven once you were eliminated. I distinctly remember, one of us walking in exclaiming, “Well, that kinda sucked…” with the paint smack in the middle of the forehead on his face shield.
Reflecting back, I honestly don’t remember many of the remaining events on that weekend. I can’t tell you what we ate or what we did. I simply spent time getting to know my new family. It all passed in the blink of an eye. Before I realized it, we headed back to St. Louis to scatter back to our respective corners of the states; it spanned Seattle, New York, and Florida.
During this trip, this Shania Twain song, “You’re Still The One”, gets considerable play on the radio, back when we still listened to the radio. I distinctly remember hearing it a number of times during that trip. There’s obviously no story about prolonged romance during a cousin reunion, in the way that Twain’s voice recounts. However, this tune still takes me back to those moments.
In the years that followed, I’d see them all again. We gathered for subsequent planned reunions, just like that one in Missouri. As we continued to grow older and more settled, there were also weddings. We collectively traveled to Palm Beach, New York, Asheville, Atlanta, and Los Angeles. We are a diverse bunch. Among us are programmers, graphic designers, attorneys, bartenders, and many more. And that youngest among us, the one who was barely a teenager when I met her? She married recently. Reflecting on the years that passed, it just made me smile.
Though quite simply they’re just family. I celebrate with them as I see them graduate. I cheer as they get married; their spouses too becoming family. Inevitably, I smile as I see them recognized for awards for their accomplishments. Eventually, I watch as they become parents, once and again. They’re every bit what we’d all call family. Genetics be damned. 😉
Though if you’re curious, I’ve yet to ride that mechanical bull. Maybe it’ll happen in a reunion.