and Words
Lyric excerpts from Musixmatch.
I arrive in New York on a mid-September weekend day. I am my wife’s beck and call while she navigates a business trip. Having stayed mostly put since the pandemic, I welcomed the change of scenery. Having enough vacation time banked, I happily agreed. We’d only stay a few days. It’ll be enough for me to taste the city again. We booked our flights and off we went.
The flight itself was uneventful. We arrived early and shuffled through the desks and lines. TSA wasn’t considerably different today than it was pre-pandemic, which is still slow and inefficient, but a ‘known quantity’. We arrive at our gate with enough spare time for our flight to JFK airport in New York. Upon the announcement calling out our group, we boarded. We arrived in New York, safely and on time; even the process of getting our luggage was surprisingly fast.
Next was getting a cab to our hotel. While we didn’t think much of it, this perhaps foreboded the disposition of our trip. Even with several airports, New York has considerably more people than other cities. The line to get a cab was long for a weekend afternoon; we waited about 30 minutes before we finally got a cab.
Finally, we got in the cab and gave our driver the name of our hotel in Times Square. The cab driver navigated the streets well; he occasionally exited to surface streets to navigate around bottlenecks in the freeway. However, he consistently inched closer to our destination. While we were unfamiliar with our surroundings, we did observe that our cab ride, now past the one-hour mark, seemed unusually long. As we got close, I could hear him get on the radio with increasing agitation speaking a language I did not know.
Eventually, the driver just gave us the bad news. He can’t take us to our hotel, at least not easily. He tells us that our hotel is only two blocks in that direction, as he pointed forward. However, today New York conducted a Mexican Independence Day parade. The street he needed to cross to get us to our hotel had been shut down for the parade. He suggested we get out here and walk across to the hotel. I reasoned that we could easily walk two blocks in that direction, even in an unfamiliar city.
That was a mistake. First, we exit the vehicle with our luggage, each lugging multiple pieces. Second, we observe that there’s barely enough room to navigate comfortably, so we’ll each need to keep a close hold of our wheeled luggage and avoid bumping into people. Third, as we approached the road closed to vehicle traffic, we discovered that they similarly closed it to foot traffic; in other words, we’d need to find another way to our hotel. We needed to find the road closure’s start (or end) and cross there.
We didn’t look up the precise boundaries of the closure. Instead, we picked one direction (right) and walked in parallel until they allowed us to cross. The closure spanned about three more blocks, which we’d need to walk back on the opposing side. As we traversed the densely packed streets of Times Square, we inhaled more of the ambient air. This air was disproportionately saturated with marijuana smoke. I do not stereotype any particular demographic partaking in it, especially since it’s perfectly legal in New York. However, it was thick enough to wonder if it would affect my mental acuity.
Fortunately, we found our way to our destination. That alleged two-block walk grew to about eight blocks and under duress. Exhausted, I collapse on a set of chairs in the lobby while she checks us in. Only once we got our room keys and settled in, did we finally relax. At the start of this day, we aspired to wander out to see the streets of Times Square before turning in for the evening. However, after all that, we were delighted to sit for a quiet dinner in their on-premises restaurant. Burgers and cocktails hit the spot.
The next day we wandered out to get our bearings. We walked the few blocks to find the locations for her next meetings, though that short walk gave us a glimpse of the city. Times Square is an attack on the senses. If flashing lights indeed cause seizures, walking its streets poses a persistent danger to those with epilepsy. The local Taco Bell had its entrance adorned with a stories-tall animated sign. On one particular street corner, a three-story tall display played an advertisement for Tropicana orange juice. Every inch of your visual cortex demanded your attention.
Several restaurants in the block boasted the ‘best’ NY-style Reuben, which I’d make a point to try during the trip, not all of them, just one. Even a local Starbucks store had a flashing sign that beaconed you to come; though it was closed for renovations. I imagine they didn’t want you to forget them upon their return. However, I did visit another Starbucks to pick up a mug for a friend. It all overwhelmed the senses. Yes, even the recurring scent of urine as I traversed the streets.
I greatly appreciate experiencing the epitome of anything. In most measurable ways, New York is the epitome of a city. It fascinated me to watch it all up close and in action. However, it’s too much city. While we mostly enjoy tasting sweet dishes, there’s such a thing as saccharine, or excessively sweet. Times Square symbolizes the colossal block of Tillamook cheddar from Costco that spans the length of your forearm; the one that no sane single human should ever buy.
Naturally, New York will feel’ normal’ if this is where you grew up and sprouted roots. For everyone else, it is the superlative excess. As the familiar Sinatra song echoes in my mind, I cannot utter those words. While it’s certainly nice to experience its sheer grandiosity, I will honestly say, “New York, I do not want to be a part of it.”
Within the week, we recounted our trip to friends. We then realized that our arrival in Times Square resembled an episode of Seinfeld. This amused us.